Deicide baffles me. Deicide and Legion are Death Metal classics in my eyes, then they release Once Upon the Cross, which isn't awful, but rather pedestrian and a massive step down. Fourthly comes Serpents of the Light, which is a slightly different take on their established style, and thus one of their best records. Afterwards, they released a bunch of tedious and boring albums, they then boot out the Hoffman brothers, recruit Jack Owen from Cannibal Corpse and Ralph Santolla, who was fresh off recording Iced Earth's incredibly crappy The Glorious Burden, and release their masterpiece, The Stench of Redemption. Stench was chock-full of new and awesome ideas, more intense songs, and Santolla's masterful guitar wizardry. Everything had finally aligned for one of the original Death Metal acts.
So what the hell happened with Till Death Do Us Part? Everything that made the previous album spectacular is conspicuously absent. It's not like they've completely reverted to the tedium of the Insineratehymn days or anything, but whatever magic they previously possessed is completely gone. Benton's trademarked dual layered growls are still prevalent, Asheim's drumming is just as vicious as ever, but I think the thing that made the most difference of the previous record was the addition of Owen and Santolla. The latter's soloing style is rather unique and strange in the context of Deicide's brand of fury, but it fit perfectly. It was a breath of fresh air for us listeners, and now the two are relegated to the back with very few standout moments. Benton's divorce really tore into him, that's understandable, but it seems like he let that inspire him to a fault. "Goddammit guys, I'm angry and bitter! Fuck those melodies and leads you wrote, THIS is how I feel, so fuck you. Don't like it? Start your own band!". It all boils down to the music, and this pales in comparison to the 2006 opus. It's nothing new, it's like a forced mixture of their middle era and tinges of the last record. Either way, it lacks the memorability and awe-inspiring quality that The Stench of Redemption so proudly carried. Is this just a disappointment in comparison to the previous behemoth? Somewhat, but even as a standalone, this doesn't do anything to impress me.
RATING - 35%
Originally written for www.metalcrypt.com
My decimated pooper still bleeds from this anal assault shrieking up out of the deepest fathoms of Hell. Not only must I still wear diapers to this day, I must supplement them with tampons and maxi pads to help slow the high flow from my smoldering bunkhole. Deicide could rape the twitching rectums of beached blue whales and explode jookie in them like dynamite, showering everything for a mile around with cum-soaked blubber and entrails. Our feeble human colons can do nothing but stand slack-jawed in awe at the sheer magnitude of Deicide's collective of giant, Mandingo porno cocks ramming forth with the might of Hell, spewing the fiendish denizens of that infernal shithole. They are the single most nefarious Americunt death metal band to have ever been aborted into the dumpster fire that which can be referred to as our beloved and bevomited heavy metal dystopia. Even the eldritch beings, whom shall not be named, fear their muculent blitzkrieg upon the grotesque visage of eternity whilst they ransack Christianity in its every gaping orifice. Nothing and no one has ever defecated thunderously of the likes Deicide so easily evacuates from their nethermost regions. Mere imitators are noticed, dismissed, and forgotten more quickly than their frail, masturbatory attempts and tremolo picking. Till Death Do Us Fart was their most incriminating autopsy and examination of the fallacy fallacy known as religious beliefs. They ruined single-handedly every hope and whim the sheeple ever blindly followed to their graves. Every choir boy raped by a perverted priest learned the truth. Every falsity brought to light was finally refuted. Jesus was nailed to a meaningless hunk of wood to die for no one's sins, only his own delusions and stupidity. This was the end. The grand finale of anal wart bursting sodomy for which Deicide had been noted. Now, they are a mere shadow of their former selves, a parody of humorously declining digestive vapor disappearing in the sepulchral winds of time. They came, sharted, and parted. I bid thee, death metal excretors, a fond farewell. You were there when I popped my first pube. You were there when I was but an angsty teen who couldn't leave his itchy, reddened phallus alone. You were there when I impregnated a 4/10 girl just to convince her that aborting the misbegotten child with a coat hanger is preferable to it growing up in crestfallen surroundings that I and its mother would have lovingly provided, only to see it kill itself through drug overdose.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Deicide. You dispelled the lies and wiped upon them a streak of artistic feculence that no one shall ever forget. Still, my crevasse bleeds and it does for your ludicrously carnal bung bebop. May the dark gods shine upon you and bequeath your hulking members with ever exceeding magnitude.