Children of Bodom, such a fall from grace.... this band held so much promise when I first heard them around the Hate Crew era, and they actually were a very large reason that my taste developed towards the more extreme style. Follow the Reaper and Hatebreeder are both absolute classics, no doubt about it, I'd even possibly rank the former in my top 10 favorite metal albums ever.
So what happened? Why the low rating? Because this is Hate Crew Dead Yet? You can take either of the last two albums, slap Part 2 on the end and describe this album perfectly. Why is that bad? I obviously liked Hate Crew Deathroll, but how would you have felt if Judas Priest had released Screaming for Vengeance or British Steel over and over again? They weren't bad albums, but they were stripped/dumbed down for a more mainstream audience and are some of the band's most accessible/popular records, as is Hate Crew or Are You Dead Yet? for Children of Bodom. This album is not terrible, per se, but it is the final nail in the coffin for them to me. They have completely abandoned the beauty, technicality, catchiness, songwriting, and just that... that essence they had back in the late nineties for a more simplistic style that is easier for these Hot Topic shopping mouth breathers that are for some reason seen as the next generation for metal. These dopey twats also love Marilyn Manson. As soon as a band finds themselves catering to Marilyn fucking Manson fans, they need to step back, reevaluate why they chose metal over everything else, and either publicly admit that they have completely abandoned their old fans, kill themselves, or kick everybody in the nuts and decide to go back to kicking ass. This band did neither of the three.
The album starts with Hellhounds on my Trail, which sounds okay, but it just makes you wonder if this is really the same band that wrote Bed of Razors. Where is the fury? It's fucking gone! The opening track seems like a stripped down version of one of the lamer tracks from Hate Crew, as does One Day You Will Cry (which is almost a carbon copy of Chokehold (Cocked and Loaded)). What is up with this groove bullshit the band has fallen into? I swear to god the verse riff from the title track could easily be a Lamb of God throwaway. Also, I swear I've heard the main riff for Smile Pretty for the Devil (by the way, they have never been good with song titles, but this is no longer hilarious, it is now insulting) somewhere on Are You Dead Yet? And is that Now You've Got Something to Die For I hear in the breaks?
The solos... well, they are still okay. They can't touch what they used to be, but you can't expect a band to constantly rip out awesomeness throughout the duration of their career... but it kind of sounds like Alexi is just going through the motions now that he noticed that fanboys will worship the ground he walks on if he played Twinkle Twinlke Little Star. Also, is Janne Wirman even in the band anymore? You only hear him about once a song now. What happened to all of the cool runs from Towards Dead End? Children of Decadence? Downfall? Mask of Sanity? Lake Bodom? What the hell happened? He doesn't even play mind blowing parts anymore, he's just there for atmosphere now.
This album is giving me a headache, Tie My Rope sounds just like In Your Face from the last album. Why are people hailing this garbage as masterful? Done with Everything, Die for Nothing... another typical song. This one actually could be great, but the same problem that's been plaguing the first batch is here as well, and that is Jaska. It's like he either forgot how to play, got too old and/or feeble from drinking and can now only double bass for twelve seconds at a time, or the band is telling him to chill out and be boring every time he starts reminding us old fans why we used to love the band so much. Seriously, the break before the solos in the title track has potential, but after the snare hits, he just descends into a super simple and super slow beat that even I could learn in a matter of seconds.
Now, the worst track on the album, and the worst Bodom song ever recorded.... Banned from Heaven. I can sum up this song with simply Angels Don't Kill part II. They somehow took the formula from that inexplicably popular shit burger of a song and beat it against the rocks until you could no longer count the fragments of skull bashed all over the shore. This song is plodding, boring, annoying, overlong (and it's only five minutes), and just goes nowhere. I am 100% serious when I say that I've heard better Devildriver songs.
The closer doesn't sound like a closer at all, it just kind of starts and just goes without any of the magic their previous closers have had. That's not the reason I'm marking this song down though, that would be foolish. I'm slagging it because it sounds exactly like all of the rest of the songs from this god awful turd from a once mighty band. That said though, it is definitely one of the few strong tracks on Blooddrunk.
I will say this though, the obligatory "Bodom" track this time 'round has not only one of the funnier names in metal (LoBodomy), but it is actually the best song here. It sounds, once again, like it could've been on Hate Crew, but it sounds like it would've been like Sixpounder instead of Bodom Beach Terror, that is, it would've been one of the best songs on the album as opposed to one of the mediocre ones.
I decided to download the leak instead of actually buying this one because I really wasn't impressed with the promos I'd heard (Blooddrunk, Tie My Rope, and Banned from Heaven), and because these reviews on the site were just fishy. There is no way the rest of the album is good enough to constitute scores in the nineties when those three tracks were so terrible.
So there is my two cents, a 27%, and it would've been lower if LoBodomy wasn't actually good. So yeah, this album is a festering turd that has for some reason been praised heavily so far. I hope people who aren't fanboys review this soon enough, because this is honestly a horrible record. I used to love this band, but is a very large turd, I honestly wish death upon it.
One of the most disappointing falls from grace yet witnessed in the metal world. I turned on Children of Decadence afterwards, and I could actually feel my headache rescinding. Wonderful feeling.
But yeah..... big fat piece of shit.
RATING - 27%
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