Monday, March 4, 2019

Temple of the Fuzz Witch - Temple of the Fuzz Witch

Prematurely ejaculate my fanatics...

I've mentioned a few times that doom metal can create some of the greatest metal albums of all time when the focus is zeroed in on writing excellent riffs, but too many bands take the ethos of "tune low, play slow" as incontrovertible doctrine with no room to explore.  And if you're the type of band to take a more stoner approach to the genre and take more influence from Electric Wizard or Sleep than St. Vitus or Pentagram, then your rigid adherence to the Four Sacred Words above is augmented by suffocating layers of fuzz as well, but that's all.  It's no surprise that Temple of the Fuzz Witch is firmly rooted in that latter dogma, and it's even less of a surprise that they're not particularly good either.

I'm willing to cut these guys some slack since it's not uncommon for a debut to be kinda shaky since a band could still be trying to find their footing, and the fact that most of these kids weren't even born yet when Come My Fanatics... came out means that their obviously amateur songwriting skills can be somewhat excused for simple inexperience as opposed to incompetence.  Unfortunately that doesn't change the fact that Temple of the Fuzz Witch's self titled debut here is exceedingly derivative and unexciting.  Every single riff and motif here can be traced back to Sleep's Holy Mountain or Dopethrone and that's about as far as any of the influence really goes.  It's unsurprisingly swamped in fuzz and distant, nasally vocals, strictly sticking to a grim, downtrodden pace that seemingly never peaks higher than 80bpm.  They flirt with longer songs here and there but nothing really goes full out with it and breaches the six minute window, so instead of being sprawling soundscapes of hazy nihilism, most of the songs come off as simply drawn out and repetitive.  I don't think it's fair to expect a Dopesmoker out of any new band, but even the tiniest hint of ambition would've been welcome here.

But no, instead we get completely unimaginative fuzztone worship and dreary, swaying riffs with no real atmosphere beyond "sounding like Electric Wizard".  I'll concede some decent riffing in "Bathsheba" and "The Glowing of Satan", but by the time "Infidel" rolls around I've just completely checked out and can't be fucked to care about the rest of what's going on here.  I think most people can understand a difference between "unoriginal" and "derivative".  Unoriginal metal isn't necessarily a problem, I like plenty of bands that don't bring anything new to the table because a lack of innovation can be easily made up for with confidence, performance, songwriting, pretty much anything.  Derivative metal, on the other hand, is just an explicit rehash of well worn tropes with no greater vision or ability beyond tracing old ideas and coloring inside the lines.  Temple of the Fuzz Witch is planted wholly in the derivative camp, and their entire existence is currently defined as a clone band.  Being inspired by Electric Wizard is one thing, being an Electric Wizard clone is another.  Nobody likes a clone band.


RATING: 33%

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