Friday, August 27, 2010

Into Eternity - The Scattering of Ashes


What the living balls is up with that fucking drumset?! Seriously, this is most likely the only review in which you'll see me complain about production. I don't have a problem with the vocals from a production standpoint like others seem to, but those retarded and EXTREMELY stupidly fake/triggered drums overpower all of the riffs barring the shitty one at the beginning of Severe Emotional Distress. After that predictable chord progression, we get treated to what could be a pretty cool verse except for two things.

A) Those goddamn drums are overpowering the otherwise cool riff


I know, I was shocked at first as well, but when you actually read the lyrics (and not just for this song, for all of them) none of them would look/sound out of place in a band full of 17 year old elitist indie snobs with fake glasses and hair covering one eye. The lyrics should never be a problem for a metal record, it shouldn't matter what a band sings about. Sure, I feel dorky shouting along with Blind Guardian about the valiant warlords of Middle-Earth, but it's fucking cool at the same time. But this is a band I just cannot sing along with, I seriously would be embarrassed if I drove around, music blasting, looking otherwise awesome until somebody realized that I was shouting "CUTTING YOURSELF TO RELIEVE THE PAIN!". Seriously, those are honestly the lyrics to Severe Emotional Distress. It sounds like a fucking parody of your archetypical emo band.

Okay, once I decided to just ignore the lyrics and concentrate on the music, I realized something. They are all the fucking same. I cannot distinguish between Out and Nothing... like... at all. Every single song follows the same structure, with very little deviation. Intro - verse - chorus - verse - chorus - break - solo - chorus - end. They all follow that exact same pattern. This wouldn't bother me if it was at least catchy or something. The whole album just sounds very uninspired. The riffs are all very boring, and the melodies are rarely interesting or catchy. The bass is completely absent, so no further comment is needed about that. And probably the most insulting part of the album, the solos are great. Into Eternity can shred with the best of them, but it's unfortunately one of two solos throughout the entire album. There isn't even variation in the motherfucking SOLOS! What the hell? If anything, the guitar solo should be the most creative and unrestrictive aspect of heavy metal, and they can't even pull that off properly.

Now, the part you've all been waiting for, the vocals. From what I've been able to gather from the other reviews I've read, Tim Roth does the screaming and clean vocals while Stu Block does the falsetto shrieks. If that's the case, what the fuck is the point of even having Block in the band? His high pitched squeals in the chorus of Timeless Winter are some of the only cool parts throughout this whole album, but that's one of the few times you actually get to hear them. I missed them when they played at Gigantour in 2006, because I decided to go and meet Sanctity instead, so I can only imagine what they do live. What does Stu do? Just sit around and headbang until his three lines per song come up and then just air guitar some more? And even if I have this whole thing wrong, and Block does more than just the falsettos, it still doesn't change the fact that they are one of the only redeeming aspects of the album. Whoever is doing those damn nu-metal clean vocals really needs to swallow a soldering iron. It's fucking repulsive, why the hell are people accepting this bullshit?! I thought we threw nu-metal out on it's ass years ago! The death metal bellows are okay, and the black/metalcore vocals aren't hideous either, but every song is just saturated with these annoyingly terrible and whiny nu-metal clean vocals singing boring vocal lines about being really sad.

From a musical standpoint, the music is indeed metal, albeit unspectacular, disappointing, and undeserving of most of the praise it gets. From a philosophical standpoint, Into Eternity should be locked out of the Heavy Metal Academy and shunned by everybody who listens to metal. They are a massive disappointment. I heard nothing but good things about them, and what I get is a big, steaming pile of suck. Really, really loud fake drums (Litany had loud as fuck drums, but they actually sound good, as opposed to this computerized ticking bullshit), nu-metal whining, emo lyrics (When I fall into the ocean, will you be there to rescue me?), boring riffs, forgettable melodies, samey songs, there is very little to redeem this album. I'll be honest, Timeless Winter is actually oozing with awesomesauce, but the rest of the album is like an auditory version of a manual asshole expansion surgery. Stu Block's shrieks are good, but the rest of the vocals range from mediocre to terrible. Solos are good, but they all manage to sound alike.

Overall, I shun this album. I've heard great things about Buried in Oblivion, but The Scattering of Ashes completely ruined this band for me. They could release Don't Break the Oath, and I'd still avoid hearing it. Maybe the band was great before, but this is an absolutely terrible first impression. Overall very bad with very few good moments. A big fat "GTFO my Ears" Award to you, Into Eternity.

Avoid this turd.

 RATING - 29%

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